Depression ya’ll. It’s like the bitchiest of bitches. I’ve had depression for basically as long as I can remember. In junior high I was the queen of telling my mom that my life was literally over. We all thought I was being dramatic. Turns out, you know, I was not healthy.
As I got older, in high school, and college, my life was kind of filled with an extra special amount of death and suicide. My senior year of college I started going to counseling. While there, the graduate student recommended I go on medication. I was like, “You the one who’s crazy. I’m grieving. I don’t need medicine because I’m GRIEVING.” Ya’ll I was a psychology major…if you’re a psychology major and you can’t admit you have a mental health problem – you probably shouldn’t be a psychology major.
After college, I worked in advertising for Pitchforkmedia.com, during one of the most depressed years of my life and subsequently got fired from that job. If you’re depressed, you shouldn’t work in ad sales. But I still didn’t get help. And I STILL didn’t take medicine.
It wasn’t until I was cast on a Harold team at the Upright Citizen’s Brigade, that I was like, there’s something really wrong here. ‘Cuz this is supposed to be great and I’m a fucking wreck. I should probably talk to someone. Here’s a hot tip– being on a Harold team doesn’t live up to the hype. But everyone in comedy is depressed. So at least I found my people. I should be doing comedy.
After going through lots of medications and then coming back to Wellbutrin (shout out to my generic buproprion-ites) things started to level out more. I go to therapy weekly. But shiz still hard. I mean. Trump. Dudes the worst.
Since I think a lot of people don’t realize they have depression, I thought I’d show you in gif form how it manifests in my life. And then maybe you can be like, oh. Damn. If even LINDSEY has depression and struggles, maybe I should get my shit looked at too. Note – I’m not telling you how to self-care. That’s your own thing. Think of this as a webmd for your symptoms.
1. Getting out of bed is not the thing I wanted to do today, but thanks for asking.
2. Imma eat healthy. JK. Cookies make me feel better for one minute. I’ll do that instead.
3. “Why are people always contacting me?” after I received one text message.
4. “No one ever contacts me.” After receiving twenty text messages.
5. I’ll do it tomorrow. About everything. Even fun things.
6. I need a nap. (I just got out of bed.)
7. Ugh I can’t believe I did and said that thing. Everyone’s mad at me prolly.
8. Exercise would make me feel better.
9. I only want to listen to Elliot Smith PLZ.
10. Oh man why’d they put the shower all the way in the bathroom.
2 far 4 2day.
So if you do a majority of these things – you might have depression. Talk to a doctor and get your shit looked at!