ICYMI: LAST MINUTE HALLOWEEN COSTUMES

Lindsey

8 years ago

Hey guys! Here’s a re-post from our newsletter!
OOOF GIRL! You forgot Halloween was coming, and now you’re looking wistfully at that sad halo and angel wings while you’re getting ready. Don’t do it. We got you covered. These costumes are srsly easy to put together. While you might not win the big office Halloween costume contest, at least you won’t look as stupid as Frank always does. God, Frank! Being a gynocologist every year is really fucking pervy. HOW ARE YOU THE HEAD OF HR??

WOMAN WHO MADE BETTER LIFE CHOICES
Nice Clothes + Champagne

Grab everything that you own that’s nice. And wear it at once. This is what it could be like if you weren’t pursuing a career in comedy.

HRC SHIMMY
Red Power Suit + Shimmy

Grab your powersuit ladies, and shake those shoulders all night long. You’re a winner!

BASKET FULL OF DEPLORABLES
Basket + Gross Candy

Staying in? This one’s easy. Get some of the worst candy possible and hand it out to all the kids dressed like Trump. Smarties, Candy Corn, those weird peanut butter taffies, all will work.

THE PUSSY GRABBER
Cat Ears + Toy Claw

This is the only kind of pussy grabbing we’ll stand for.

ARYA STARK
Hello My Name Is tag + Sharpie

Grab a hello my name is tag from the supply cabinet. Grab a sharpie. Now write “A girl has no name”. You’re Arya Stark! Keep your eyes peeled for aggressive tweens with bo staffs.

THROWING SHADE
Lampshades + Snark

Bring a bag of lampshades to the party. Throw them at dudes that are dressed like gynos. FRANK.

LADY LIBERTY’S WALK OF SHAME
Green Sheet + Phone + Champagne + Something Patriotic + Smeared make-up

If you’re embarrassed about the current state of the Union, just think how Lady Liberty Feels. Take a green sheet, turn it into a toga. Smear your make up. Your phone is your tabula ansata, your drink is your torch

A CLOWN

JKJKJKJKJKJKJKJKJKJKJKJKJKJK

NO ONE SHOULD BE A CLOWN THIS YEAR. WHAT ARE YOU? A BUNCH OF CREEPS?

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