Your girl, POTUS, loves drama. Hiring and firing people. Trash talking his friends. Trash talking his enemies. He also loves a good lie, whether it’s to distract you from him losing the election or protect his son. No matter what he tweets – the dude loves attention, and drama. He loves it more than Heather Locklear from Melrose Place. His favorite song is Lies, by Fleetwood Mac.
So, in an effort to help you stay vigilant, we have obtained a list of lies that 45 was hoping to use down the line.
The Best Lies
- Hillary is addicted to scratch off lottery tickets.
- Played 1 on 1 with Michael Jordan. I won. Blew him away.
- I’ve walked on the moon. It was a dump. Who cares.
- Golf is the most exciting sport.
- Helen Keller wasn’t deaf.
- I created the first Ironman – and I win all of them.
- I help found the NAACP.
- Golden Coral is the classiest restaurant in the world.
- I wrote To Kill A Mocking Bird.
- Helen Keller wasn’t blind.
- I played the lead in Atomic Blonde.
- I sold North Dakota to Poland.
- Helen Keller wasn’t real.
- I do not have an untreated mental illness.
- I am happy.
What can you do?
Honestly, I don’t know what we can do anymore. Lies have just become the norm from this administration. It’s a fucking bummer.
The only thing that I can suggest is to stay informed. And all liars usually get theirs in the end… right?