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Snack Attack

snack

This week, Republican Senator Thom Tillis, brought popcorn to the GOP’s lunch date with the president.

Tillis, brought his own snack, for a few reasons – 1. It’s a funny joke, that he will eat popcorn while all the senators fight and bicker. (full disclosure, I am super into the shade that Tillis is throwing) 2. He probably didn’t want an over-cooked steak for lunch.

With a few other heated battles heading to the senate floor, I am listing my top snacks, so that other senators can throw shade with a full belly!

Shady Snack Attack Options

Hummus

Healthcare, as always is one of the most heated battles happening in politics. Now, these debates can be long and stressful, so you’re going to want something light, that can also be hearty, and filling. Hummus is the perfect snack for deciding who gets access to healthcare and who doesn’t. Cut up some celery, carrots, cucumbers and pita and the next thing you know, you’ll have people from all sides of the aisle coming over to snack with you!

Caviar

Tax Reform, another spicy topic that’s happening on the Hill. May I suggest some decadent caviar as a snack? Tax Reform is a classic battle of rich vs poor, have vs have nots. Senator, celebrate all the tax dollars that you earn from your constituents. Shove some fish eggs down your gullet while you help the rich get richer. And whatever you do, do not share your caviar. Rich people are rich, because they are cheap.

Apple Pie

What is more American than apple pie? Oh! I know, owning a million guns, for no reason!!! So, go on an indulge your sweet tooth, while you continue to allow American’s the right to stockpile guns.

 

 

Eggs

Nothing says, “Let’s ban abortions!” like eggs. Unfertilized chicken eggs are the most perfect snack to munch on while voting on women’s rights to choose.

 

 

 

No matter what snack you choose, make sure you are not going onto the Senate floor with an empty tum tum. Because, if you are hangry while voting, who knows what you’ll do!? You may actually vote with your conscious and not with your NRA cash….

 

 

Rebecca Edwards

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