The Koch Brothers are Bad Guys… Or Are They?

Koch Brothers are Bad Guys

The other day, the great writers at Time released an article about the Koch brothers. If you know anything about politics, you know the Koch brothers are bad guys. They often oppose any type of climate change legislation. And from 2005-2008, they funded more research denying climate change than Exxon-Mobil did. They are billionaires who fund Republican candidates’ campaigns and in general, these bad guys get what they want.

In this Time article, however, we find out that the Kochs aren’t up to their usual baddie selves. They are actually working on ways to stop Trump with a group called, Billionaires Against Trump – #squadgoals. WHAT??? That doesn’t make any sense. The Koch brothers are bad guys!!! They do bad stuff. If the bad guys are even against Trump, what does that mean?

It means, that sometimes good guys, and bad guys work together. And though I don’t know how this will end, for right now, we good guys could use their help. So let’s look at some of the most historical evidence movies we have about bad guys helping good guys and figure out how we are supposed to act going forward.

3 Films Where Bad Guys Turn Good (The Koch Brothers Are Bad Guys??? We don’t know!!!)


1. Terminator
Koch Brothers are Bad Guys

So Bad. But also, damn Arnold, I’m feeling it.

Ok I know what you’re thinking, the Terminator was a definite Baddie. But.. then Terminator 2 came out. And the guy who played Doggett in X-Files is a bigger Badd-ier dude.  ‘Cause he can shape shift with this liquid metal body. So who comes back to save ‘ole John Conner? The original Terminator! He’s not a bad dude anymore, he’s working for good. And it’s very confusing. But not for me! Because Terminator 2 is the only movie I’ve actually ever watched in the Terminator series. Are you taking notes? You should be taking notes. And it isn’t just a coincidence that Trump hates Arnold Schwarzenegger, the guy who played The Original Terminator! Guys!!! It’s the Circle of Life!

(Spoiler Alert…. they end up freezing Terminator 2 in liquid nitrogen. Which is how I found out about the magic qualities of liquid nitrogen. Tell the Koch’s to invest in liquid nitrogen.)

2. Scrooge McDuck
Koch Brothers are Bad Guys

Dudes got A CHIP on that shoulder

Ok not a film. A character. But originally Scrooge was a greedy s.o.b. He IS named after Ebeneezer Scrooge from A Christmas Carol. Which, now that I think of it, might have been a better pick here. Scrooge used to hide all his coins away in his huge mansion and sit around hating on people. Sound like the Koch’s? It does!

But then as time goes on, Scrooge softens, especially after he got Christmas Carol’d. And he really softens when his nephews come to live with him. So all I’m saying is that maybe over Christmas, some ghosts visited those Koch’s in the night. And told them to stop being such greedy assholes.  Then in January their nephews came to live with them. And the nephews are teaching them all about science and climate change. ONE CAN HOPE.


3. Harry Potter
Koch Brothers are Bad Guys

Severus Snape. So tortured. So many layers.

While it’s still up in the air whether Trump or Bannon is Voldemort, let us not forget the real baddie turned goodie living it up in Hogwarts – Severus Snape. If you read the books, you know Snape is CON.TRA.VERSAL. Dude got his heart straight up broken by Harry Potter’s mom, Lily, when they were at Hogwarts. They’d been young bff’s and then Harry Potter’s dad, James, who’s a real douche-nozzle, was a bully to him. And Lily fell for James! Lily – don’t you go after that bad boy!

So now you get why Snape is conflicted. On the one hand, Harry represents a bully and the love he never had. And on the other, he is Lily’s son. BUT Lily was killed by Voldie.  So Snape runs a double agent game all through-out the movies and books until the end when Voldemort kills him. Snape was the ultimate baddie turned goodie. Does this mean the Koch brothers will be lured to the Shrieking Shack and bit in the throat by Bannon’s snake? Yes. Probably. Movies are real life.


Ok, does that help? No. Not really. We never see how the good guys react to the bad guys after they fight the big new major bad guy.  Because usually, the reformed bad guy dies. Hollywood loves to kill you after you’ve earned your redemption. So look for the Koch brothers to die soon. And even if they don’t, I wouldn’t trust those dudes. They are shady as fuck. I mean come on, we know the Koch Brothers are bad guys. Don’t believe all the hype.