The Household Spies Amongst Us

There are spies amongst us and tragically, they are everywhere.

Listen, you know that they are tapping your phone, your computer, your email. Your microwave turns into a secret camera. But now, the lowest of the low, your vibrator is spying on you.

Here is a list of other everyday items that are being used to spy on you.

Common Household Spies:

1. Hair Elastics

Think about it. You use them everyday. They are all over your house, your car, your bags, your office. Think of all the data they are picking up and sending to the government. Big Brother now knows that you put your hair up, and take it down, an average of 104 times a day. It’s horrifying to think about how they will use that knowledge against us.

2. Lady Razors

It’s not enough that they tax us more for “lady” products, but now they know how many times we shave! And they know what we shave and how we shave it. Jokes on them, I haven’t shaved my legs in months! Can’t fool me

3. Lip Balm

It transmits all the words you say, and sends them to the government. So next time you lube up those lips, be sure to talk all about how you think Trumpcare will save us all.

4. Earbuds

Every time you listen to your favorite podcasts, you know The Hot Goss Podcast and That’s My Story, Period, Kellyanne knows…

5. Contact Lenses

You know what, this is probably true. So I ain’t even gonna play.

Rebecca Edwards