Rex Axed! How will Trump Terminate Tillerson?

Rex Tillerson publicly denounced Trump's Charlottesville reactions on Fox News. Our questions now is, how will Trump fire Tillerson?

Rex Tillerson done fuuucked up. Exon’s boi went on Fox News this weekend and did NOT stand by Donald Trump. As reported by Politico, while speaking to Chris Wallace about discrimination and Trump’s response to Charlottesville, Tillerson stated:

“We express America’s values from the State Department. We represent the American people, we represent America’s values, our commitment to freedom, our commitment to equal treatment of people the world over, and that message has never changed,” Tillerson said. “I don’t believe anyone doubts the American people’s values or the commitment of the American government or the government’s agencies to advancing those values and defending those values.”

“And the president’s values?” Fox anchor Chris Wallace followed up, to which the secretary of state replied: “The president speaks for himself, Chris.”

Oh daaaaammmmnnnn. Rex Tillerson got nasty all over Trump. Sure sure sure, he didn’t say anything like “Trump’s racist” or “Trump’s a DAMN fool”. But I guess that’s the best we’re going to get from Tillerson. So the question now is –

How Will Donald Trump Fire Rex Tillerson?

We know that Donald Trump gets angry when people are not loyal. Remember James Comey? I barely did because it’s a million fucking degrees in my apartment and I literally had to google “head fbi” because that’s all the words I could think of.  And then after reading all of the Comey articles, I thought “How the fuck is this guy still President?”

Anyway, when someone goes against Trump, they usually get fired.  The list is already very long of ex-Trump employees, Scaramucci, Preibus, Spicer, Comey, Flynn, Omarosa.  So it’s only a matter of time before Trump throws Tillerson overboard. How, though, dear reader, do you think he’ll do it? Well I’ve got some guesses (some sourced from The Hot Goss staff). Which of these probable ways will Trump terminate Tillerson?

Our Probable Guesses for Tillerson Termination

  1. With a letter hand delivered by Stephen Miller
  2. Via Tweet
  3. By anonymously calling in to the next new show Tillerson is a guest on
  4. By handing him a rose like a backwards Bachelorette /or a regular Hunger Games
  5. Taking him out to the middle of 5th Avenue in New York and shooting him in broad daylight.
  6. Sending him a fortune cookie with a “Your future is not good. Sad.” fortune, and then changing all the locks to his office.
  7. Passing a note to Don Jr. to fire Rex, but then realizing that Don Jr. can’t read. So Trump comes up with an elaborate plan where Don Jr. has to go from Kindergarten – High School in two week increments to teach him to read. But then, realizing no one wants to sit through another hour of this idiot having to learn actual skills, he has Don Jr enter into a contest where he completes his GED against his arch nemesis (Kushner) on stage to get ownership of the note. But then, Steve Buscemi comes in and shoots Rex Tillerson.

Have a guess? Want to get in on our firing pool? Let us know on our Facebook page!  The winner will get a prize! Probably popsicles because that’s all I can think about because it’s so fucking hot in my apartment.


Lindsey Barrow