ANTM: Avant-Garde

Before we jump into this week’s crazy, I just want to point out in that “previously on” that Binta full on slithered up to standing when she was yelling at Courtney which just goes to show, Binta is always modeling. K, bye.

We Start At The House

Cody, now sans Tash, had some Tarot cards tell her she was going to go through a period of isolation. You know that saying, twins don’t know what it’s like to not be a twin? Is that a saying? I dunno. Twins have said that to me before. Anyway, just means that now Cody can kinda feel like what that means and kill it on her own (even though she’s still technically a twin. Tash is still alive outside of the TV). Truthfully though, I wish Tash was still here ’cause I still don’t think Cory Anne knows WTF she wants.

Oh right! Krislian got best ’cause it was the Instagram challenge. Duh.

And then there’s Cory Anne. She’s talking about how she’s the underdog but I think it’s that she’s just an ok model. But way to try to “brand” yourself. See what I did there? Cory Anne’s also like “is anyone gonna want to work with me after this?” Which, who still watches this show? Me. And I can’t hire anyone. Besides, the only person that should worry about how she’s portrayed on this show is Court. Speaking of…

Paige then calls out Courtney for leaving a first aid kid in the bedroom, which Courtney at first denies, and this is the second biggest drama of the episode. Courtney, of course you left it there boo. You’re always sick. Paige may take Justine’s title of being adorbs AF after this sequence. Cutesy ponytail coupled with cutesy PJs. Cute!

Kyle is over Court and just over people in general. She doesn’t have tons of friends outside the competition. Well, Kyle, I will be your friend. I’m done with the whiners too! heh heh please like me *smiles nervously*

Law Roach in the House

Tatiana thinks Law is her bestie but sorry Tati, Law is no one’s bestie. Cause he’s “the Law in these parts.” #sorrynotsorry

Let’s talk personal style with Law. I guess this would go under the “branding” of the 3 B’s? Law says it’s not just the runway people are looking to for style. People want to see what a girl is wearing walking down the street. You know, my yoga pants and Nasty Woman hoodie. I call it WTF Chic #nailedit

Law also wants everyone to know it doesn’t take money to figure out your personal style which Binta, whose style is Sexy Royalty duh, proves after she nails her style with a jacket from Goodwill.

Rita Ora

But I’m jumping ahead.

Everyone’s gotta go through and name their style. Tatiana, Model Chic, picks this as a time to mention her skin care line cause why not remind Law you’re a BOSS during your BRANDING cause you’re a boss. Nice drop Tati. Some are totes on point, Kyle Gender-Bender, Binta see above, Paige Youthful Sophistication.

Law then tells Giah that when he watches her at panel, he cringes a little bit but that that’s ok. WHAT?? First off, no Giah you just come off as more of a singer but honestly, I think that’s kind of what you want. Second off, look at her. How where what do you cringe?

Krislian gets another hit to the ego. Sigh. You keep your head up Krislian. You and your almost 70K Instagram followers.

And then Cory-Anne! Model Eclectic? Ugh. Law doesn’t even remember anything about you. I have no idea how you survived bottom two twice.

Law Roach

Style Challenge

The girls got fifteen minutes to find the cutest representation of whatever two word nonsense they just gave Law. And they are so stressed about it.

Tatiana nails it and they have Courtney throwing silent shade OR these editors are great with editing. Who knows. Kyle does think Tatiana is fierce competition but they’re not even in the same category. Kyle, you good.

Krislian says she is inspired by J. Lo which checks out and of course Law tells her she has to “class it up” a bit. Sultry is in your DNA! It is. But then Krislian brings up this crazy issue with loose fitting clothing making her look shorter and now I’m stressing about my wardrobe.

Commercial Break

Full disclosure: Usually I fast forward through these things but I was watching live at first and that Rimmel commercial with Rita Ora is SUCH a British commercial! The Batiste one too! (This is where I drop in the fun fact that I lived in London for a semester ahem) I would also like to point out how much ENERGY Rita had in that commercial! Where is that during the dang Ritalerts??

Back to the Letter of Law

We go through some other ladies until we get to Giah (who, in case you forgot, makes Law cringe). Now he’s like “The thing that’s saving you is that face.” She is gorgeous. I thought Law was gonna get catty here but honestly…he was really sweet.

Drew Elliott

Binta nails her Sexy Royalty on the cheap.

And then Kyle who Law calls out for having it easy with her style. What?? I love Kyle’s retort though “Yeah, well, a lot of boys who dress this way have got it pretty easy right?” High. Five. I think you look hot.

Drew Elliott

Cory-Anne. What is this? What are those? Pig tails? Law says she’s one of the ones who looks like a model to him but does she? I can’t. During her confessional she’s like “I am a superstar and I just have off moments.” There are A LOT of off moments. One might say too many. I know your mom was a supermodel but my mom was a teacher and here I am writing recaps for a reality show on a blog so you know…

The winner gets the whole of Law’s shoe line with Zendaya. Law is a boss too y’all! And who’s that winner? Tatiana! Binta thought it might’ve been her and if I were there Binta, I would’ve chosen you but Tatiana did have it put together. Smooches.

Ugh Ritalert

Even her eyes a half-closed during these now. Rita so tired.

Rita Ora

“Wear the clothes, don’t let the clothes wear you.” Big. Extravagant. Challenge. Kyle. Out. Of. Her. Comfort. Zone.

Harlem Grocery Store Avant Garde Fashion

Ah, to have been on that street while they were loading the ladies in…

Inspired by Chanel’s grocery store runway show fun with Riri, Cara Delevingne and Joan Smalls, Drew’s like “let’s do this but in an actual grocery store in Harlem. Shouldn’t interrupt anyone’s day!”

All snark aside, I admit that watching the preview last week I was really excited for this shoot. These pieces are really works of art. Also, probs really hard to model in so I knew there’d be some good stuff. But I am glad I now know the name of Nicola Formichetti, as should you.

Courtney’s excited! Oh. Crap. Confession: for a hot second I forgot Courtney’s a person on this show. That’s how little Courtney we’ve seen. Wow. I love how Nicola recognizes dem eyebrows and then when he says something about shaving them off, Court’s like “mmm no don’t do that.” Ah Court.

Krislian’s called out for being sexy AGAIN. Can I hug Kris? Someone hug her. Giah?

Cody’s dress is amazing. And she killed in it. Girl looked like she could wear that all day/all night. Bellisima.

HA! They covered Krislian up in all black! She had no idea how to manage that massive drape. It was like a ripped up doily from a Latino funeral. That dress swallowed her, poor thing.

Paige followed by Binta was great to watch because they both killed it. Paige a little more than Binta I’M SORRY BINTA

Giah, sorry. We’ve seen those heels before. They are high ass heels. And THEN they also throw balloons under her skirt. Bringing us the the biggest drama of the show, Giah pops a balloon in the meat case cause how TF are you supposed to sit on a balloon without it popping?

The Fall

Kyle was put in a pair of shoes that looked good but I guess literally “couldn’t even stand on their own.” So Kyle fell. She felllllllll. Courtney fell, Kyle fell, who’s next?!? IT HAPPENS IN THREES. This would be the ANTM Horror Movie.

Kyle’s like “I’m weak on heels.” Everyone would be weak in those heels Kyle. It isn’t you.

Oh hai! Here’s Courtney complaining about her allergies. Also her outfit’s hot and her headpiece is heavy. To quote PEOTUS: Sad! Yup. Courtney complain.

Nicola Fermichetti

Sometimes I forget Marissa is in this competition. I don’t think she was in my last recap at all? But I like that she dropped milk on herself. She seemed really fun in this. I’ll be friends with Marissa too.

Tyra Banks

Kyle can’t be anything but a badass in her shoot but who cares! She rocks that look so, whatevs.


At first I was kinda like wah about Rita’s outfit. I think it was the flowers in her hair. But it grew on me so sure, ok.

THEY DID A MAKEUP PAN ON ASHLEY! Change it uuuuuuup cause why not. Only do it on one judge so it’s not weird and awkward at all. Perf.

Also I cannot wait to see these photoooooooos.

India’s photo is great. Rita’s all “your hair’s purple for goodness sake.” but it’s not really anymore is it Rita? It’s all weirdly faded and blonde-ish. Ugh. It’s hard with those pastel colors. But if it’s good enough for Dame Helen Mirren… Anyway, love the photo India.

Krislian at least gets “classy sex” from Ashley but we all knew she was lost in this shoot. At least Kris took it wish class. There, she’s got it. Clap clap clap.

Binta dope. Nuff said.

Paige, you’re getting a fan in me. Great photo.

HOLY SHIT CODY. Holy. Shit. This. I mean. This is an amazing photo. No words besides HOLY SHIT. For real. Jeez.

Tyra Banks

JUST LOOK AT IT. Ok. Moving on.

Giah, they want to give you shit but you were on balloons. There was a lot going on with that dress. You are still gorgeous. And sweet.

Marissa – you had fun but I dunno. This photo. Eh. You still had fun though! And Rita wants to be your friend.

Courtney Courtney Courtney. Don’t interrupt Ashley. She’s so fucking nice. I’m with DREW ON THIS. STOP IT. Drew has to call you out again. Stop. It. Court. Stop. Complaining.

Cory Anne – One good photo doesn’t make a model. I’m going rough on you here.

Tatiana knows her your brand, that’s true Law. Same with Kyle. Wait, Law’s like “we’re looking for mogul” and he’s not sure Kyle’s got it in her….Ok, I can see that. But Kyle is a boss. She could be a mogul, she’s just gotta figure out where. Law, all of a sudden, has an issue with Kyle’s attitude? Since? I think that was a random statement just to drum up drama.

Drew doesn’t know if he wants Courtney out as the first in the industry cause it’ll come back to them. Does he even know this show’s history??? No one really cares I do. I DO. 


Another confession: I don’t know if I need to hear from the models when they’re waiting backstage for elimination. I’m good. I want more judge-y judges.

BEST PHOTO: Cory Anne when it should’ve been CODY. Cody, it’s you. Shush that nonsense. Sorry Cory Anne.


Rita Ora

OMG This Rita freak out is so staged right? Rita had to stage this. FUCK I am so sorry Krislian. That whole thing was rough. You do not deserve such crazy. I wish I could hug you.

Ok…real bottom two: Giah and Kyle which, sorry Giah, I knew it would be you. They’ve been setting it up all episode. But I think you’ve got so much more in your future! Do something in music. Stay sweet. Build that confidence.


Binta, Courtney and I’M SORRY PAIGE YOU ALSO DID GREAT but I gotta put Cody back in. GD she should’ve had best picture (sorry Cory Anne but I speak my truth)

Next Week: Chanel Iman, boxing, and hookup in the house! And a fight about the bathroom. But whatever! Marissa doesn’t want me to forget she’s in this competition! Hookup IN THE HOUSE!