Baking! Baking Will Cure My Existential Dread!

Okay, I finally peeled myself away from reading the news. I’ll put my fears that our democracy is undergoing a legit coup to the side and I’m going to bake! Everyone is happier and less horrified when bake goods are involved!

I Ch-Ch-Choose Chocolate Cake


No! I will bake, not spiral!

  • 1 teaspoon salt

NOnononononono. Focus up!

  • 1/2 cup vegetable oil
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 1 cup boiling water
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour two nine inch round pans.
  2. In a large bowl, stir together the sugar, flour, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Add the eggs, milk, oil and vanilla, mix for 2 minutes on medium speed of mixer. Stir in the boiling water last. Batter will be thin. Pour evenly into the prepared pans.
  3. Bake 30 to 35 minutes in the preheated oven which, if we do really pull out of the Paris Climate Accords even though most states are on track to hit their emissions reductions targets and there are twice as many folks working in solar than in coal then there isn’t a point, right? We’ll just be one global bowl of soup and polar bear parts and my kids will never know what seaweed tastes like because our oceans will be so acidic and trash-filled that we’ll have to use “Finding Dory” to explain what fish even WERE. I MEAN, IT’S JUST A CAKE AND NOT MY SANITY OR SENSE OF CALM OR ABILITY TO KEEP IT TOGETHER BUT I NEED TO BAKE THIS CAKE FOR REASONS.
  4. Cool in the pans for 10 minutes, then remove to a wire rack to cool completely. Enjoy sitting on the kitchen floor as you weep or, better yet, between calls to your elected officials and protests.

Lexi Notabartolo